When We Were Young
by singcraz
Summary: The infamous song fiction. What if Dean hadn’t broken up with Rory at the dance marathon? What would they feel, how would they think? Three teenagers’ thoughts on one night, the night that could’ve changed it all. R/J implied.


When We Were Young

By singcraz

Disclaimer: I don't own the WB or Gilmore Girls, just the story itself. 

Summary: The infamous song fiction. What if Dean hadn't broken up with Rory at the dance marathon? What would they feel, how would they think? Three teenagers' thoughts on one night, the night that _could've _changed it all. R/J implied.

P.S. The song is "All I Want Is You" by U2. 

_You say you want diamonds and a ring of gold _

_You say you want your story to remain untold_

_But all the promises we made,_

_From the cradle to the grave_

_When all I want is you_

I sat down on my bed as my mother soaked in her bathwater. My legs were dead, long, limp noodles; I couldn't even feel my toes. But even if the lower half of my body was dead, my mind was reeling. 

"Why is he just sitting there like that? Doesn't he have anything better to do?" I whispered to my boyfriend. Why did I even mention it? It was obvious Dean was getting hot under the collar, but I didn't know what to do. I decided that if I pretended I didn't like him enough times, I wouldn't. All the feelings would evaporate into thin air. 

"Just try to ignore him," he muttered again_. Ignore_ him? How could I ignore him with his eyes burning through my flesh? I didn't know, it wasn't fair. Nothing ever made sense anymore. He had Shane, he seemed so sure of himself, so sure of his manhood. How could I be so confused about myself? My feelings for him had always been less than angelic, but it was a phase, nothing more. It just happened to be a super, strangely long phase… a whole yearlong phase.

I did ignore him… sort of. And by the time Luke and my mother came back, he was gone. It was easier to breathe, and my body was soaked into Dean's. Dean, that's right. I loved Dean. I always would in one-way or another. But no first love lasts forever. 

I was lucky. Mine had lasted two years, more than anyone else I know could say. I had a Dean, a nice, sweet, great guy. And he liked me too. He loved me even before I loved him. It was nice. Dean was nice. He was a pillow. 

But Jess, Jess was powerful, intense, misunderstood… experienced. He knew things I couldn't even imagine; he had lived things I had only read about. He had been through many lives. I knew him. He was the temptation. 

Mom hated him, so did everyone else. But I got him, I understood what he said, and if I didn't I was amazed. He left me gaping at his genius, staring at his physic. I couldn't help myself; I wasn't sure what to do. The dance was great, we even tied with Kirk. We each got small trophies. Mom was ecstatic, but my heart wasn't into it, all I wanted was to go home. I didn't know what to do. Dean walked me back and smiled.

"I love you," he leaned in for a kiss. 

"Me too," I whispered as the sun rose up. I couldn't bring myself to say it. I never was a good liar. 

I lay down under the covers and pulled them up to my chin. What was it about him that made me so crazy? 

Who knew? How would I? But I did know.

I wanted him. 

_You say you'll give me a highway with no one on it_

_Treasure just to look upon it_

_All the riches in the land_

_You say you'll give me_

_Eyes of the moon of blindness_

_A river in a time of dryness_

_A holler in the temples_

_But all the promises we made_

_From the cradle to the grave_

_When all I want is you _

It's nice how dark it gets when things go wrong. The night gets blacker and the sun gets bloody red.

I was supposed to go there and sweep her off her feet, leaving Bagboy and Monosyllable Girl dumbfounded in the shadows. Of course I didn't. I just pissed her off, her and her stupid boyfriend. 

She hated me.

But if she hated me so much, why would she stare back? Why would she have kissed me? Girls, huh, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. 

As I thought about her in bed, I mean, I was in bed thinking about her, I wasn't thinking about _her _in bed with _me_… why would I think that? Ha, me, Jess, ruining the Princess of all Considered Good and Happy. It was so ridiculous, I snorted. 

Shane stirred from the noise. She sat up in bed, but I ignored her. 

"What's going on?" she mumbled. 

"Nothing, go back to sleep," I said roughly. Too roughly. She narrowed her eyes at me and sighed in exasperation. Standing, she put her clothes back on and walked out of the house. 

"What a waste," she cried as she ran out. I still stared at the wall. Shane was my cover up; she was only there to numb my pain. Shane was my Novocain. Too bad she bugged the hell out of me, otherwise it would've worked. I always had to run away from what was good for me. That was how Rory and I were the same. 

The smart thing to do would be to go back to New York. I had. There I couldn't sleep; pictures of chestnut haired girls haunted me. I came back for her. It was all for her, and I was rewarded with a kiss. But she ran. For almost three months she was gone without a word; I was stupid and turned to the next female who walked past me. I had to prove my manhood; I had to convince myself that I was not going soft for the one being I couldn't have.

The smell of her intoxicated me. I felt as though I was floating. With her, my feet were inches off the ground and my head was reaching for Jupiter. As I looked over the night, I wondered what had gone wrong. I was there, I watched her, she watched me. I could tell she was talking about me. 

Maybe if I hadn't left, no, that wouldn't have made a difference. There were only ten minutes left of the damn dance, and Dean would be with her all ten. I was doing the right thing; I was letting go. 

But nothing just goes away. She sticks with me in my head and makes my heart speed up. 

I stared up at the ceiling unmoving. What was it about her that made me so crazy? I had sat through a goddamn 24-hour dance marathon in Hicksville. Why? 

Who knew? I did, and it sucked. 

I loved her.  

_You say you want you're love to work out right_

_To last with me through the night_

_You say you want diamonds and a ring of gold_

_Your story to remain untold_

_Your love not to grow cold_

I looked at her picture on my bedside table. We were right for each other. I was the good boy and she was the good girl. I loved her, and that's all that mattered. We fit like puzzle pieces, and then he came along. Mr. High and Mighty, Hey You, Touch Me And You'll Die Jess. I wanted to punch him, I really did, and I should've at the dance. 

How I've been so blind for the past year is ridiculous. She likes him, it's obvious, but it's just a phase. A super, extra long phase… one year actually. Jeez, I hated him. 

How long had she been gone? Months, actually. She told me he was just a friend, but the whole time I could see he liked her. He wormed his way into her heart and ruined her; he ruined her for all to see. I wish he had stayed in New York, away from Rory and away from the town. He broke everything. He broke promises, he broke harts, the pristine picture of the world, he broke my girl. 

I feel like all my life has been some perfect movie. Everything, I had the perfect girl, perfect record, and perfect friends. But when he came, all crumbled at his feet. I still love Rory, I always will in one-way or another. Probably more then she could even ever know. I'll love her more in fifty years than she ever loved me. 

That's how Rory and I are alike. She'll love Jess one hundred times more than he could ever love her. I can't stand to see her get hurt. 

I wish she could have ignored him. If she could have kept her mouth shut and just focused on me, everything would've been better. I won't break it off yet, but if he gets any closer, I don't know what I'll do. 

I don't know what's wrong with me.

Who does? I guess I do, really. 

I've lost her. 

_All the promises we break_

_From the cradle to the grave_

_When all I want is you_

As all three teenagers lay down, the dawn peeked over the hills. They all turned and looked at the fading crescent moon, lacing the vanishing constellations together with their gazes. It was amazing how when they were so young, things were so hard. And in the mind of each one of them, three simple words rung through their heads:

_I wanted you_

.End. 


End file.
